Postpartum Must Haves for Mothers

During pregnancy, new mothers are focused on preparing for their new bundle. They are worried about the nursery, picking out clothes, creating a dream labor and delivery plan, and debating cloth or disposable. Rarely do mothers worry about the aftermath of birth and helping themselves heal.

Postpartum isn’t glamorous. It’s tender and harsh. We need to care for ourselves so we can better care for our littles. Preparing a recovery kit for yourself or for a friend will make the transition a little more bearable. It’s hard to be comfortable between the pain, the bloody puddle, a needy newborn, and lack of sleep. These are some things sure to ease the postpartum period.

Tuck’s Witch Hazel Pads
These were a lifesaver for me. I didn’t get hemorrhoids (thankfully) but they soothed the general pain and stinging. The coolness felt incredible against broken skin. You can also make your own.

Peri Bottle
HEAVENLY. I was so glad for its existence. I didn’t wipe for a while and merely dabbed toilet paper around. This helped not only relieve me of the sting, but also allowed me to clean off blood. Warm water works the best. The hospital usually provides you with one but they are cheap if you want an extra.

Ice Packs
These were such a relief and wonderful to help swelling. Check with your hospital. Some may provide these for you.

Dermoplast
Another wonderful relief for the vaginal area. It definitely helped take away the burn, sting, and itch. My sister (who had a baby almost 3 months prior to me) hated it and never used it. It’s a strange cooling sensation so everyone will react differently. Most hospitals provide it for you.

Sitz Bath
Herbs are powerful tools from the earth. The herbal blends in sitz baths will help reduce swollen tissues, bring relief to tender areas, promote healing, and reduce the chance of infection. It’s a relaxing way to nourish your vagina and yourself. Take the time alone, breathe it all in and let it all go. Even as a new mama, you deserve a second to care for yourself. Here’s a recipe if you want to DIY!

Nipple Cream
I simply used coconut oil. Thankfully, my nipples grew accustomed quickly and avoided rawness but many mothers I’ve spoken with, have praised nipple creams. You can also make your own with this recipe.

Breast Pump
Your breasts will become swollen with fresh milk for your little nursling. A breast pump is your friend. It’s also great so you can start stashing away milk for when you finally decide you can handle being away from your little for more than 5 minutes at a time. I’m not an avid pumper so I simply use the manual Medela Harmony but I’d suggest investing in an electric. 

Breast Pads
You can either get disposable or reusable. I went through the disposables like crazy. Until your milk regulates, you leak an insane amount. We had breast pads strewn all over the place for the longest time.

Nursing Bras
I made the mistake of only purchasing one nursing bra. I was doing laundry less in the first few weeks so my bra was drowning in milk stains and milk scent. I highly recommend grabbing more than one. Eventually, I got 4 of these and this sleep one. The sleep one is SO comfortable, I practically lived in it. I don’t recommend anything with a wire. It’s extremely uncomfortable and even worse when engorged.

Comfortable Undies
Warning: do not, I repeat, do NOT wear your cute underwear. You bleed like a waterfall and it’s not worth risking all the underwear you love. Chances are if you have heavy-duty pads, you won’t. But to be on the safe side, grab a few pairs of basic underwear so you won’t feel sad if you need to toss them!

Herbal Tea
Red Raspberry tea is a great support for uterine care.
Milkmaid tea will help support healthy breastfeeding and increase milk production. 

Water Bottle
Hydration is extremely important. All your resources are gathering into your breasts for your baby and taking away from you! You need to keep up your hydration so you can take care of yourself and create milk for the nursling. I always carried my blender bottle around with me but any water bottle will do. 

Easy Snacks
Same as above. Your nutrients are being used up fairly quickly and you need to snack more often. Trail mixes, granola bars, fruits, crackers, and other finger foods are perfect for right now. Keep them near wherever you sit to feed your little one (bedside table, coffee table, etc).

Rest
Don’t worry about the dishes piling up or the clothes dirtying the floor. This time is crucial and belongs to you and the baby. It will get better no matter how tough it seems in the beginning. You’ll all naturally fall into a routine as baby grows. In the meantime, take whatever time you can to rest and recoup.

Help
Don’t be afraid to ask for help, from friends and family. You don’t need to isolate yourself or do everything on your own now that you have a baby. Whether it’s someone bringing you a meal, or coming over to let you nap while they keep their eye on the baby, or someone picking up your house, or whatever it is: you do deserve it mama so don’t hesitate on asking.

Most importantly remember, be kind to yourself and go through the postpartum period gently. Love is at your fingertips and on the broken skin around your hips.

Postpartum Care Checklist
• Witch Hazel Pads
• Peri Bottle
• Ice Packs
• Dermoplast
• Sitz Bath
• Nipple Cream
• Breast Pump
• Breast Pads
• Nursing Bras
• Comfortable Undies
• Herbal Teas
• Water Bottle
• Easy Snacks
• Rest
• Help

Postpartum Pondering

Motherhood breaks you open. Tears you into various directions. Giving birth to my son was the happiest, most ecstatic moment of my life. He’s my absolute world. Perhaps that’s why I’m feeling so down. Because nothing else seems to compare? I don’t feel myself. I feel broken. Both my body and my mind. I feel fragile like a porcelain doll that’s fallen off the shelf and the pieces are lying on the floor. I feel strange. I’m blissful yet sad.

The postpartum period for the past 5 weeks has increasingly become more difficult. Dave is working 90% of the time and the house has gotten lonely. All 3 of us have been exhausted and it has taken a toll on the entirety of the house.

One thing that needs to be remembered is so much joy comes with having a child. It’s an indescribable joy that cannot compare with anything else. With hormones flying off the wall and expectations of the postpartum period, it’s easy for sadness to stick like flypaper. And there’s no shame in this. There’s a natural high that slowly loses its potency after birth. It’s not because we aren’t anticipating other milestones with our child.. but because women are expected to resume regular scheduling almost immediately after giving birth. There is a pressure to jump back into the old routine and the old body as soon as possible. A pressure to feel complete and happy.

For many, it’s just not that simple.

At least not for me. It’s been overwhelming to have your body be so captive to a little human. I am the sole provider for my son. He relies on me more than anything or anyone else. My body nourishes him, my scent entices him, my hands clean, comfort, and change him, my eyes hold bags from our 5am feedings, my warmth from my body soothes him. Others can soothe him as well, but not like mama can. There is a loneliness it entails.

It’s not easy. Nor is it easy to admit that this period has been tough. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. I feel a sense of shame, guilt, and failure although I know I shouldn’t. But talking about it and letting it out has helped free me from it.

Your body adjusts to the constant lack of sleep, lack of showers, the diaper changes, milk, more milk, snuggle me, fussiness, hold me, don’t let me go, more milk, too much milk, spit up, more diaper changing, more milk, baths, more fussiness, too hot, too cold, skin-to-skin, I’m scared please hold me, I’m tired please hold me, just hold me, more milk. It’s an on-going, endless cycle to fulfill his needs. Your body adjusts to it all yet your mental and emotional state take time to catch up.

But I’m going to revel in the neediness of my baby. Because slowly, he’ll stop needing me as much. Slowly, he will unlatch from my breast. Slowly, he will unlatch from my arms. Slowly, my back will no longer be able to support his weight. Until then, I want to give all of me to him. I want him to know happiness more than he knows sadness. I want to ensure his life is full of positivity and love. I want him to know that even though this point right now is rough, scary, and new, I am here with him. In this moment. And every moment hereafter.

Motherhood is hard. It changes and transforms you. It’s okay to feel sadness or be depressed after giving birth. It’s nothing to feel guilty or ashamed about. It’s normal and you will get through it. You have made it to this point and you are strong. Please know, you are not alone.

The Birth Of Our Maddox

Maddox’s birth did not go the way it was intended but I knew there was always a chance of things going very differently than I had initially planned.

The Friday night before labor and birth, I was lying on the couch with Dave. I kept getting light Braxton-Hicks-like cramping yet more consistent. It was uncomfortable but not worrisome. I told Dave and he said, “You’re going to have the baby tomorrow.” I said, “No way.” I was already 3 days past my due date but I had no idea when he was planning his arrival.

At 3am on Saturday, I awoke to pretty regular contractions. They were uncomfortable rather than painful. I was timing them at 6 minutes apart already. They were light so I wasn’t sure if I was beginning labor or not. But they continued and around 4am, I woke Dave to let him know what was happening. We both waited with anticipation until I realized this wasn’t a false alarm.

Around 5am, I called the hospital to see if they wanted me to come in. I waited for the on-call doctor to call me back. They didn’t (until an hour and a half later!) so I decided to go to the hospital anyway. 3 days overdue and signs of labor? Dave and I excitedly packed and headed out. The contractions were beginning to increase in strength and the time apart was getting closer together.

We arrived at the hospital around 6am. I felt good even though the contractions were becoming worse. After taking me into a room with a few beds hidden by curtains, hooking me up for an NST, and asking me questions, a doctor eventually came in to check my cervix. My contractions, at this point, were 4 minutes apart, increasing in strength, and much more painful.

Dilation was only at 2cm. The same as it was at my previous, Wednesday, OB appointment. No change. All these contractions, all this work, and no change. It was 8am at this point. 5 hours with no change seemed absurd. I became discouraged and started to focus on the pain. They checked a couple more times while I was there and still, no change so they sent me home. I felt my body was failing me. I knew my plan to have a natural birth was crashing in front of me. The pain was unbearable and nothing was progressing. How long would I be in this pain for? There was an overwhelming feeling of not having control. At 10am, we were discharged. I went home and labored. I laid in bed. I moaned in bed. I sat in the bathtub with a pillow. I moved. I walked. I crouched. I hurt. I tried to sleep. They came in 4 minute waves and were getting closer together, more painful.

12pm. 3 minutes apart. Strong. 9 hours of laboring already. I told Dave that we need to go back. This time, they admitted me. After settling in, another cervix check was done and I was still 2cm. Again, I was discouraged and mentally exhausted. It was hard to focus on pain management when you felt your body wasn’t working with you. Dave tried to calm me down and help me focus on my breathing.

At about 5:30pm, I was dilated to 5cm. 14 hours of labor. I was finally able to get the epidural if I wanted. And I did. Although I was breathing well and handling the pain as well as I could, I was emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted. 14 hours had already passed and I didn’t know how much longer I would be laboring for before he decided it was time to make an entrance. I made the choice that was most suitable for my situation. Even though it wasn’t my plan, I was much more comfortable and happy afterwards.

At around 7:30pm, the doctor decided to break my water at 7cm. Not too long after that, the nurse came in and started prepping everything. The lights were down, the warmer was up and running, they got their gowns on. At this point, everything became real. I would meet my son soon. At around 8:40pm, the doctor checked my cervix again and Maddox was ready to enter the world. It took about 5 minutes for everyone to get ready and in position. At about 8:45pm I started pushing when I felt pressure. Dave was the greatest support I could have had by my side. He held my head, my legs, my hand, and looked at me with stars in his eyes. 10 minutes later, Maddox was earth side. Born 5/2/15, 8:55pm, 8lbs 2oz 20in.

I saw his vernix filled face and heard his beautiful cry before he was taken to the warmer to be cleaned off while the nurse started working on patching me up and massaging out my placenta. Dave went over, held his hand, took pictures, held him until he could be brought over to me. He laid him on my chest so I could breastfeed and we latched eyes and I was in love. I felt such peace, such calm with him on my breast, skin to skin, eyes locked. He was beautiful and all mine. All ours.

At some point, they told me that he would have to spend the night in NICU. I looked at Dave and felt my heart explode. I had a fever during labor and after. Since I was GBS+, and he had a small fever, they wanted to start him on antibiotics, do blood tests, and keep watch on him. We were able to spend some time with him but then they took him and moved me to our postpartum room. Dave got us food and passed out around midnight/1 o’clock. It was difficult to sleep even though I was so extremely tired. I just cried for a little and had a couple naps. At around 5am, I called to see how he was. He was good and would probably be back with us later that day. And he was!

This is not the natural birth I had wanted but it’s mine, Maddox’s, and Dave’s story and it’s incredible nonetheless.

Just an important note: Dave was extremely incredible the entire time. I couldn’t be more grateful or thankful to have had him there with me. He held my hand, he started and drained multiple baths for me, he looked at me with concern, he helped keep my breathing steady, he breathed with me, he told me I could do this when I thought I couldn’t. Knowing he was in the room made me feel so safe and so secure. Having his warm hand on mine during the waves of pain helped root me. He was a very important piece in my labor and birth. I don’t think I can thank him enough for being so wonderful and so supportive.